It's Them Not Me....

About 2 years ago I took my son to a park in the southwest suburb Tinley Park. Although, I live on the far south side of Chicago.  

Why did I take him to play so far from my own neighborhood? Great question! So he can experience different towns, cities, diversity, and cultures.

Almost immediately when we arrived at the park, this caucasian girl (Katie) about my son’s age runs up to him and they begin to play. She puts him playfully in a headlock, but he frees himself, she then runs away, so naturally he chases her.  My son catches up to her and tackles her, not hard, she landed on grass and was not physically harmed. She sits there bewildered. My heart immediately stopped and my brain went into overdrive thinking: OMG she is about to cry, and her mom is going to say something to me and it might get out of hand, we will have to leave and NEVER come here again.

So I stand up and her mom does too, and we are looking at our children. Katie  and my son were already off playing again. So I asked was she (Katie) ok and prepared to apologize. Katie’s mom answered, “Yeah she’s fine. She’s a tough little bug. She is used to winning so your little man stunned her.” We share a laugh and conversation until Katie and her mom leaves.

Now reflecting upon that day 2 years later, after reading Wick’s article about Schema Theory, Bonilla-Silva’s article on Colorblind Racism, watching Tim Wise’s speech on race; I realized I have biases of race inside of me. SHOCKER I AM NOT AS “OPEN-MINDED” as I thought. Wow I always had this attitude of “It them not me” that are prejudice or have biases. I now understand that because of my schematic concepts I have adopted what Bonilla-Silva would call the “Naturalization” discourse. I was thinking because I am African American and do not live in this suburb that this caucasian mother was automatically going to become irate when my son pushed her daughter down; although they were both were playing with similar amounts of physical activity.  It could even be because of differences in gender. Whatever my schema may be,or even how slight, it is definitely worth analyzing.

So this made me think and ask myself these questions:

Are there other biases in myself I need to locate and work to resolve?

Will identifying these biases cause a profound change?

What steps can I make to change my schema?

As I read some of your blogs some of you posed the question that has been asked many times from all types of people, “Can racism really be eradicated or is it just inevitable?” Well I think if we all take the time to ask and really truthfully answer the questions above and make positive changes to oneself and schematic concepts as necessary we may have a chance.